Friday Fun: Open Letter to Pets

Another email forward, but again, I find it funny.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

Tags: Friday Fun, humor, pets

I’m currently working on a piece about testing estimation for software projects. I’ve been deep in the throws of a QA/Testing project recently and had need of an estimation tool to come up with numbers for our test execution phase. No data was available about previous projects and no estimation tools were in use at the client. So, I was forced to come up with my own.

Now it is almost time for me to share the fruits of my labor, I’m putting the last polish on my estimation model. Once I’ve got it ‘ready for primetime’, you’ll be among the first to get a copy of it.

Stay tuned.

February 28, 2008 | Permalink

Why I’m Not Rich

Wondermark - Why I’m Not Rich

Apparently, I’m principled…huh, go figure. Click on the image for full size.

From Wondermark

Tags: cartoon, get rich quick, humor, wondermark

How to Overcome Writer’s Block and Write those Requirements

I’ve had writer’s block most of the week. Actually, for more than that…most of my life really…but anyway, I digress. Coupled with an Olympic level ability to procrastinate, I’ve managed to just barely struggle through this week and find something to write about, not only here, but also in my ‘real’ job, writing requirements for software. I finally forced myself over the last remaining hurdles preventing me from getting started. Those being mostly comprised of my PSP and the shiny new quarter I found on my way to work one morning (been staring at that thing for ages now…oooo…shinyshiny). Wait, what?

Hmmmm….going to abandon that paragraph and write it up as a loss. Speaking of which, how does one write something up as a loss…is it something like this? LOSS No, I suppose not. No, wait don’t go, I promise there’s a point in here somewhere and I’ll get to it, I swear I will.

Tags: business analysis, requirements, writing

Friday Fun: To those of you under 30

This is one of those ubiquitous email forwards, but I thought it was funny, so here it is for the Friday Fun section.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning … uphill BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda…

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

Tags: Friday Fun, humor, rant

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